How my love of writing is destroying the little sanity I have left

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

“Find what you love and let it kill you.”

Well I’ve found it. And it’s not gonna kill me. It’s gonna tackle me, shoot me full of speed, and dumb me on the steps of a mental hospital.

I, like pretty much everyone on here, am a writer. I’m trying to build up my online content writing business, taking on magazine writing gigs, and working on a novel. Every. Single. Day.

I’ve made this lovely little routine. I wake up, read a chapter of whatever book it is I’m reading (currently it’s Kafka On The Shore), content write, eat, workout…


How our reluctance to do what every other developed nation has done takes away freedom and continues to push the country into crisis.

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In America, it’s estimated that 18,314 people die annually due to a lack of health insurance. That’s not even accounting for the thousands who face crippling medical bills, bills that keep people in debt for their entire lives and make it impossible to enjoy basic economic stability.

And yet when we bring this up, people act like we’re spouting out a list of communist demands.

The US Compared to Other Countries

The US is the only developed country in the world that doesn’t have universal healthcare. There are a few reasons for this, none of them particularly good.

For one, we have an extremely individualistic society…


Bloodhounds. Children. Daoist Monks. Let them serve as guides to finding your inner voice.

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Are you completely out of writing ideas? Are you so exhausted that writing no longer brings you any fulfilment? Do you sit and stare at the blinking cursor fantasizing about being done for the day?

If yes, I can relate. The last month or so I’ve learned why they call it a “grind”. I sit down at my laptop and run the dry, unlubricated rust of my mind along the gritty page. Then I look at what I’ve written, hate it, and consider quitting.

Sometimes the answer is simple: we just need to take a break. But sometimes that’s not…


What the elusive and mind-bending can teach us about the normal and mundane

From Heironymous Bosch’s “Hell” (public domain)

Have you ever seen a Salvador Dali painting and thought “why is everyone so excited over this nonsense?” If yes, you and I can relate.

For the longest time, surreal art seemed completely meaningless to me. I mean, how can someone be “brilliant” by just ignoring logic? Surrealism was synonymous with a cheap shock, no “why” behind it.

It turns out it’s not. It’s actually more profound than any simple, straightforward logic I’ve ever encountered. If you’re like me, a devotee to logic and analysis who struggles to appreciate the bizarre and enigmatic in art, I completely understand. …


No one told me brimming with new-found confidence would leave me pretty much the same as I’d always been

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My entire life has been naked in the cafeteria dream. Everything is sudden and inescapable and profoundly unsure. The only difference: in dreams, you wake up.

I’ve been shy my whole life. I was bullied when I was younger, which definitely didn’t help, but there was more to it than that. What really held me back was the sense that confident people had a reason to be confident.

I, by contrast, had no reasons. I didn’t have any idea who I was deep down. Hell, sometimes I’d worry about choosing the right cereal because I didn’t know what Cinnamon Toast…


How we can restore meaning to our lives in this godless, isolated, nihilistic age

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This is the most hopeless age humanity has ever faced. Modernity is distinctly nihilistic. In the past, there was always some unifying factor. Religion, political views, nationalism, community: these things created a common thread through which individuals could feel meaningful.

All of the above are quickly disappearing. Such a disappearance is, in many ways, wonderful. Progress is vital to bettering society, and it is through realization and open-mindedness that we are reaching conclusions coinciding with this decline. But it has its downsides.

Depression rates have been rising for years now. Such a complex issue isn’t easy to connect to one…


How a scene in a book challenged my sexually enlightened attitude

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I’ve had sex. Not a ton, but not not a ton either. I figured I’d overcome any uncomfortable feelings around the subject at this point. Knowledge is power, right?

I’m a pretty progressive guy. I fully support destigmatizing sex. It’s all just a weird set of rules that trickled down from antiquity. I acknowledge the strangeness of our fear around the body. Hell, my little sister is a stripper, and when my parents found out, I spent months explaining to them why they should be ok with it.

In theory, I’m about as comfortable around sex as a person could…

Bradon Matthews

Writer, model, flower child gone wrong. I write about the things I’ve learned; from great thinkers and from my own absurd life experiences.

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